Email Words Your New Store Should Avoid

email words

How much would you pay for a marketing campaign that produced an average 4,300% return on your initial investment?

Think a 4,300% return on your marketing investment sounds too good to be true? It gets even better: The Direct Marketing Association says you don’t have to pay one dime. All you need is a clever message with a hook and a tie-down close, and your new store will be off and running circles around the competition.

According to Gigaom Research, email marketing yields four-figure returns on investment and marketers credit it as being the single most effective tactic for awareness, acquisition, conversion and retention in their business today. To top that all off, 70% of consumers say they do open emails from their favorite companies.

So, if email marketing is such a key platform for engaging, inviting and enticing customers, your email should be clearly communicated and captivating to read. Since statistics show you have 3-4 seconds to grad the readers’ attention, here are seven words and phrases Social Media Today says you should eliminate instantly from your content if you are looking for solid conversion and trusting customers.

Hey & Hello There

Because the salutations “Hey” or “Hello There” are fairly generic, these may come across as disrespectful – like you know your customer casually when you really don’t. Don’t use overly familiarized words or language to buddy-up to your new store’s customers. It’s fine to address them by name or to simply eliminate a greeting all together.

Really & Very

When used in business writing, words like “really” and “very” tend to reduce the impact of your content and diminish the value of what you are trying to say. If you are “very happy to announce a really great sale you have coming soon,” all you have accomplished is overselling something with a lot of fluff. Get to the point of what you want to say and say it without a lot of unnecessary words.


You might think it is more efficient to begin a sentence with an abbreviated greeting or jump right into the call to action. It’s fine to text your family members and say, “Just wondering when everybody will be ready for dinner.” But when addressing your store’s clients, the word “just” makes your message unclear and lessens the impact. By leaving that word out completely, your message still remains the same but reads more professionally.

Things & Stuff

New store owners are bombarded daily with emails and spend a lot of time weeding through the important ones and the junk. If your brand desires a profitable and long-lasting relationship with your customers, eliminate the use of vague words – like “things” or “stuff” – that zap the energy from your readers the longer you bombard them with their irrelevancy. Plan your words carefully and select clear, unambiguous words.


Using this conjunction in a sentence usually brings the connotation bad news will follow. Consider this email message from a company to a prospective job candidate:

“We enjoyed meeting you today 
and are impressed with your goals for the coming year, 
but we have chosen to go a different route and move in a different direction.”

The word “but” is a soft way to discount ideas and undermine the original message. Consider substituting with the word “and” or eliminating the conjunction completely.

Utilize, ROI & Innovative

Corporate jargon is not impressive in communication with your prospects. It comes across as stiff and dull, taking away from the core message. These unnecessary buzzwords are a distraction you can’t afford. Stick to simple, straightforward words. The word “use” works in place of “utilize.” And, real examples of how “innovative” your product truly is work much more effectively than lofty words that don’t have any “ROI” for your new store.

ASAP & Quickly

When you impose deadlines or imply immediacy, using these vague deadlines won’t prompt results or convey any specific action that needs to be taken. If you email a prospect and ask them to “Please respond to our survey ASAP,” don’t expect instant results because you didn’t actually ask for them. Be clear and state an exact expectation, like: “Please respond to our survey by midnight March 31st.”

With an estimated 132 billion business emails expected to hit the Internet daily by 2017, your business needs a strategy to trigger customer response and instill confidence in your brand. The words you use in your email marketing campaigns are the framework you need to build and maintain for a successful email marketing strategy. That should yield a stellar 4,300% return on your investment.


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Scott Kuhn

About Scott Kuhn

Scott is CEO of Sheehy, a regional advertising, marketing and media agency. He has been helping companies plan and execute store grand openings and remodels for more than 20 years.

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